VNV Tuesday – Lessons Learned: An Early Retrospective 12/19/17


For my family, the holiday festivities are over. We’ve exchanged gifts, shared meals, played together, and laughed much. So while most of you are still in a state of anticipation, I’ve moved on to the introspective part of the year; that fine tradition of the “year in review.” These are some of my lessons from 2017; please feel free to share yours in the comments.

Talk less, listen more.

Read. And then read some more.

Don’t bask in outrage; channel it.

Practice intentional kindness.

Say thank you.

I’ve been writing on Tuesdays for almost a year now, and I thank all of you for taking the time to read and comment. You have all lifted me up; talked me down; kept me strong; and kept me sane (I have a very loose definition of “sane”). In my tradition, this is a season of love made incarnate, but this community has become my daily reminder of what that actually means. Thank you.

  10 comments for “VNV Tuesday – Lessons Learned: An Early Retrospective 12/19/17

  1. bfitzinAR
    December 19, 2017 at 9:43 am

    {{{DoReMI}}} – thank you as always for writing the diaries, doubly for the double duty. I too have had my holiday celebration and am in that sort of holding pattern of quiet and reflection and sometimes a bit of impatience that is the space between holy day celebration/decorating the tree and feasting with family and the solitary taking down the decorations and boxing them up until next year.

    This has been a year that started deep in the depths of despair and shock – still reacting to a multitude of unexpected attacks that resulted in Evil winning on 11/8/16 . Still reacting to betrayal by those we trusted as allies. And then we, our various Villages by whatever name, the combined many Villages by whatever names, replaced a bunch of the despair with anger. And channeled that anger into action. We are still in a pit, but not of despair, and we are – together – working our way out of it. We’ve had small victories – some of the larger ones were simply just blocking some of the worst evil being thrown at us – and we will have more. We have regrouped and started to mobilize. We are making progress. We’ve suffered losses and have been cast back – we mourn the losses, comfort each other as best we can, and get moving again.

    This has been true nationally and personally. We are all dealing with “sneak attacks” at multiple levels. We all are doing our best to support our communities, gain support from our communities, and do whatever good is within our reach to do. Loving-kindness is an act of resistance because the enemies are Evil – active Evil deliberately choosing to hurt people, passive Evil of apathy in the face of it – and loving-kindness is our nature. We outnumber the Evil ones, we will overwhelm them. We will gain back the helm of the Ship of State in national life, take control of our reactions in private life – and do what is at hand to make things better. That is our duty and our joy – and we will do it.

    Blessings upon you – and all the folks of our communities – we’re only strong together but we’re very strong together. moar {{{HUGS}}}

    • WYgalinCali
      December 19, 2017 at 10:25 am

      Good morning, bfitz. As always you nailed it. Supposedly, my daughter will be buying my house next year and I will move out (hopefully find a condo, but rent until then). It will take massive prompting to get me to decorate on my own. Of course, I may surprise myself and keep my tree up year round. 😂

      Glad to see you on twitter…{{{HUGS}}}

      • bfitzinAR
        December 19, 2017 at 1:14 pm

        You could always build a “grandma cottage” in the backyard. Have some privacy but be really close to family. (I love the decorated tree – but I also love the specialness of having it at that symbolic time of the year.)

        I am in the process of learning how to manage twitter – what to read, what to “heart”, what to let go. Because I’m really only there to keep track of and connect with friends/online family I’ve been out of touch with since (or even before) I was banned at the orange place. {{{HUGS}}} back.

        • DoReMI
          December 19, 2017 at 2:35 pm

          LOL, I’ve suggested the “grandma cottage” idea to my daughter since they plan to sell their current home and buy another house in the next year. My daughter’s look of horror was all the answer I needed. Of course, part of her rationale is that it would give her mother-in-law ideas, so I didn’t take it personally!

          • bfitzinAR
            December 20, 2017 at 1:46 pm

            It probably works better as a suggestion in WYgal’s situation – where they are buying her home – rather than in a “we’re making room for one mom but not the other” situation. :)

    • DoReMI
      December 19, 2017 at 12:08 pm

      I’ve grown to love having our family celebration a week or so before Christmas. It makes it easier for my daughter, who is converting to Judaism, and it eliminates conflict with her husband’s family, who want Christmas on Christmas Day. Beyond that, there are some practical considerations…when you discover you need more butter, you can just run to the store! I wish I had done this earlier in my life, because it eliminates so much holiday stress, but it wasn’t practical when our daughter was still in school.

      • bfitzinAR
        December 19, 2017 at 2:58 pm

        I’ve got multiple sects of Xtianity and also multiple “sects” of pagans in my family. As long as we’re close to the Solstice we’re close enough to cover everybody. :) The dinner and the handing out of gifts, and I made sure there were always gifts for the little ones – and I always made sure there was a tree however procured – that was always the 25th but everything else is free form.

    • njm
      December 19, 2017 at 2:39 pm

      Hi, bfitz. I’ll just repeat your last paragraph: Blessings upon you – and all the folks of our communities – we’re only strong together but we’re very strong together. moar {{{HUGS}}}

      • bfitzinAR
        December 19, 2017 at 3:14 pm

        {{{njm}}} – that’s what it all comes down to, doesn’t it? Always moar {{{HUGS}}}

  2. WYgalinCali
    December 19, 2017 at 10:21 am

    Good morning, Pond Dwellers, and thanks for pulling the double, DoReMI. Although the headlines scream at us every day, we’ve had quite the productive year. I hold good thoughts that 2018 will continue that trend (with a few perp walks thrown in, as well). I was very encouraged by a Vox article I read yesterday about the ACA. Yes, they may kill the personal mandate, but the monetary assistance to buy insurance is still intact. The existing conditions clause is still intact. The good things are still there and the threat that they will try again to kill it? I don’t think they have the votes. So, a huge victory even with the tax scam (if it passes).

    So, off to drink my coffee and other non exciting activities.

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